LETS END THE RECAP

Where did we leave off? OH YEAH - totaled car. Way to go, Lauren. 

One good thing about the car being totaled is that my stepdad is an attorney who specializes in insurance claims. He was able to help me get a decent amount of money for my car. Which is great, but also made me feel real shitty just because -- I knew how I REALLY totaled it, not a great feeling. 

It was shortly after this, I think my mom and stepdad had their final like 'we've got to give Lauren one more push for something better' and we had a serious come to Jesus. 

They had been encouraging me to go to Mount Marty(MMU) for a LONG time, and I was terrified to go. Unless you play a sport (which is like 90% of our student population) MMU is expensive AF. And I was dreading drowning in debt from trying to attend. I FORGOT THIS PART OF MY LIFE, rewind like 5 years. I graduated high school in December of 2010 and walked with my class in 2011. I was pregnant (lol, obvi) and wanted to get out of there before I blew up like a balloon. 

When I graduated, I immediately started taking online classes from South Dakota State University(SDSU) . I had this dream that I was going to be a pharmacist, bound and determined, single mom and all. Applied for Financial Aid, took all the money I was awarded, so dumb, and started burying myself in debt. Then heading into fall of 2011, against literally EVERYONE'S advice, I moved my happy ass and my 6 month old baby to Brookings. HAHA - literally, I was so naïve. I got us a townhome, found a daycare, and was going to do the damn thing. 

Yeah ... I did not do the damn thing. I tried really hard to have a 'traditional' college experience even with having a baby, and I fell apart. I ended up withdrawing from SDSU after the withdrawal period so I had to take 'W's on my transcript. I had taken out student loans, cashed my stipend check so had literally used all of my financial aid to fuck around and moved home. Then .. I didn't go back to school for a while, so my grace period ended, and my student loans were due to be paid. You know who ignored all those letters in the mail? This gal, right here. I have a serious avoidance problem. If it gives me anxiety - sometimes I think if I ignore it long enough, it will go away. I definitely learned the hard way to skirt loan payments and screwed my credit for a long time. 

So, after my SDSU experience - I didn't take any additional college classes unless I could pay for them out of my pocket. So it felt like every time I saved enough money, it was gone in an instant and I wasn't even full time. Then to be encouraged to go to a private institution I was like, yeah you guys can F right off. That shit ain't happenin'. 

But if I wanted to seriously improve my life and Payton's life, all the jobs I wanted required a college degree and I wasn't going to move anywhere if I didn't figure out how to get that done. I kept my job at Cimpl's and applied at MMU. I was accepted and was immediately put on academic probation for 2 reasons. One, I had taken all those W's from SDSU, and then I bounced around from place to place trying to get credits and even when I did that I was not serious about my education so my grades weren't great. But by the time I was ready to go to MMU I did not want to waste my time. My first semester I was only allowed to register for 12 credits to prove that I could get good grades. Which I did - I was on the Dean's list every semester. I worked my ass off, went to school literally year round to just get the shit done. 

I went to school full time, worked full time, in my head I was freaking DOIN' IT! Then Jack got out of prison and I hit a freaking wall. 

I still gave my all at school, and showed up for classes but when I was home - I was a disaster. Reminder, this was Payton and I's first time being alone since the last time he assaulted me in my apartment. I'm not sure if it was anxiety? depression? being a weenie? but I could not for the life of me get out of bed, I just shut down. I would take Payton to school, come home and get right back into bed. I stopped showing up for work, I stopped getting ready for the day I just wanted to hide. And I was constantly on edge. He didn't get released to Yankton, but he lived only an hour away and he had family members that still lived in Yankton. Like, was I going to go to the store with Payton and run into him? I'd run into his brother(s) a few times. Was he going to start calling me? Was he going to show up at Payton's school or something psychotic? I was so in my head and my job suffered for that. I ended up having to explain to my teachers why I wasn't in class but turning in assignments, and I quit my job. I stopped sleeping or I slept with Payton, and I ended up getting security cameras on the outside of my house so I could see everything from my phone, and it alerted me when there was movement on the outside - which brought some comfort and helped me get back  to 'normal'. I took a break from working and just focused on school for a little while. When I felt like I could add a job back in, I started working part time at an Embroidery and ScreenWorks facility. I helped with the books, did some customer service stuff, ended up taking over some of the purchasing and I went in between classes. It was the perfect fit - flexible, the people were lovely, no weekends, was just what I needed. 

Then it was time to graduate - December 2018. A few weeks before graduation, a man I'd known almost the whole time I lived in Yankton had reached out to me about a Sales position that was available at a brand new hotel his management company had opened in Dakota Dunes, which is like one hour away from where we lived. Money was good, the job seemed legit - so I told my current employer that I had been contacted, and I was considering this position. I had asked what my future looked like if I continued to work for them. I was not expecting them to match the salary I had been offered but I wanted to know if I had a future there. I ended up deciding to take the sales position, and I put in my two weeks notice - which really was like 3 weeks and then I would have been done the week of Christmas (which they gave their employees off anyways). After I put in my notice, they called me into their office a day or two after - told me to turn in my key and let me go that day. Right before Christmas. I was SO hurt - the people I worked for had been friends with me/my family for years. I felt like I was trying to do the right thing by telling them about the job offer, about asking what my future there could be and they did not feel the same. Mitchell and I were together at this point in my life so I called him leaving work in hysterics, I was so pissed like how the fuck can you do that to someone who was trying to be respectful, right before Christmas - like...come on. 

Although it put me in a tight situation, I really did enjoy like 3 weeks of no work before giving my whole life to the hotel I started working at. I've got LOTS to say about my experience in hospitality and the people I worked with, but those will come later. 

I worked at that hotel from 2019 to 2022. I started as the Director of Sales, my first big girl job. In May of 2020, I was promoted to General Manager, and then in March of 2022 I started working in the Management office in Yankton. In that time - we moved from Yankton to Elk Point, got married, Mitchell adopted Payton, got pregnant with twins, moved back to Yankton, then I quit my job in hospitality and started working at MMU. HOLY HELL. Lots of life - and a hell of a lot of stories. 

Next week - let's go back to life before we met Mitchell and the time someone at Payton's school brought up Jack to him when I was not present. Until next time. 

Xoxo,

Lo