**CAUTION - THIS IS GOING TO BE A TWO-PARTER**
When we moved to Yankton - my mom opened Yankton's first drive through coffee shop, Sunrise Coffee. When I was old enough to work, I obviously worked for her - and slung coffee out of those windows like no ones business. While barista-ing I met a gentleman from Yankton who owned a construction company and also a hospitality management company. I used to make his coffee literally every morning Monday - Friday, a 16oz skinny half calf latte, no flavor, no straw.
He always told me that I'd be good in hospitality - but honestly, I made such good money as a barista I didn't want to change jobs. Then obviously life happened - I got pregnant/had a baby, was trying to figure out what to do with school, but I needed something slightly more stable than 5 hours in the morning at a coffee shop. So I reached out to this guy - and I got a job working at the front desk at the Holiday Inn. And so began my career in hospitality.
Obviously from previous blogs - you know that I took a break, worked at Cimpl's, really decided to buckle down for school and then right before I graduated - this same guy reached out to me about a 'big girl' job he had at his hotel in Dakota Dunes as the Director of Sales. It was a big decision for me - the job required us to move to or close to Dakota Dunes, SD - which is an hour from where we currently live, so changing schools for Payton - we had to figure out if Mitchell's job would still work, all the things. But we did it.
When I 'interviewed' for the position - it wasn't really an interview. Which I believe I mentioned before, it was my previous boss kind of just telling me about the job and then ... me accepting it - was very ... nonchalant. Which for me, was fine - I was getting a new, big kid job at a brand new hotel and event center and I was ready to WERK
I started there in January 2019 - I "trained" with the VP of the Management Company's younger brother, which was really no training at all and my at that time supervisor, literally didn't even know I had been hired until we got on a call with IHG (which is the big company that is the umbrella over the Holiday Inn). So communication, clearly between people at the company was really good - she literally found out the position had been filled and who I was on a call, not great. I had heard some things about her, from my previous boss that interviewed me for this position, I knew that she was nice, but there was something between my new supervisor and the gal who interviewed me.
these gals need names - that shit is getting way too long; my previous boss is going to be Rachel, my sales boss is going to Michelle.
Eventually Michelle made it to the Dunes we had a chance to meet, work together and developed a real friendship. She was easy to talk to, easy to confide in and really made me feel like she had my back. I will admit - that if I wanted something that I knew was going to cost money, I knew to ask Michelle. I mean she was in sales and could pitch anything - but comprehension of a budget might not have been a strong suit. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. But people did not like that we got a long so well, in my opinion - I felt Rachel REALLY didn't like it.
I have a complicated relationship with people - she is one of a kind. She has this crazy way of manipulating people to give her information, really can make someone feel like a 'friend' and then - not have their back in the next breath. Kind of one of those people where it's like ... they like you, but do they actually?
And Rachel and Michelle - did not get along. Rachel never really liked the way Michelle did business, she was really good at getting the things that she aske for and quite frankly - I think it just rubbed Rachel the wrong way, because...things weren't that way for her.
The two of them not getting along made work difficult, for literally everyone - if the hotel you worked at had a sales person. Because they agreed on literally NOTHING. So my job got increasingly difficult just balancing the two of them, and things I wanted for the hotel or to do with the hotel (just from a sales standpoint), the relationship I thought I had with Rachel, and the relationship I made with my boss Michelle. Then our General Manager left, and it was peak COVID.
I had just recently found out I was pregnant with the twins, and she was going to be moving back to where she was originally from. And I actually like operations more than sales - I like knowing why the clock ticks, and what makes it tick better - so I threw my name in the ringer for GM. I also thought this would honestly make my life easier since I only had to then report to Rachel. I could still be friends/friendly with Michelle because I really did like her - but Rachel was my boss so there was no grey area anywhere. Where as in Sales - I got input from both Rachel and Michelle, even though Michelle was my boss.
But then in May 2020 - I was promoted to GM. And shit did not get better. I'm someone who likes to be the best at what they do, especially when my heart is in it and I can see the potential - I want to be great. And I, clearly, had never managed a hotel and even t center before so I was eager to learn all of the things. I was constantly asking how to be better, or where I could learn certain things, but I figured that job largely out on my own because the support wasn't there. Which fucking sucked. It was COVID - and it was in the thick of everyone literally thought we were all going to die, the news had scared everyone into submission of all things, we laid off a huge portion of our staff so I was working quite literally all the time, and when I wanted help or input on how to be better it was always 'l mean you're doing fine' - but things didn't feel fine. One thing that always just irked me about Rachel - she never had my back, behind my back. And when I needed things escalated to like 'above her' to the VP - it would go months without hearing anything. Where as when I worked with Michelle - it was like we could get answers within a week. The hotels + their management teams were bleeding during COVID and it felt like the management office just stood back and watched. I finally got to a point where I wanted to make sure I was at least covering all my bases with day to day activities at the hotel and I contacted a GM who worked for a hotel they owned in Omaha for years. Simply just asking her to come sit with me one day to make sure I was doing enough - because again, no input, no guidance. nothing. Then I started living at the hotel - or at least that's what it felt like.
The staff we had, didn't want to work, people no call no showed like crazy, and I was just getting more pregnant. We had hired a new Sales Director at this point and her and I became best friends. She was great. From the East Coast originally, didn't take any shit, really cleaned up the Event side of things on the hotel side - it was great. But I was beginning to run on fumes. Then the topic of my maternity leave came about.
I remember and have emails back and forth with my mom panicking about maternity leave and like what the hell I'm going to do because questions I had about...who the staff calls if someone doesn't show up, calls in sick, etc., weren't getting answered. No one could tell me what the plan really was, which in turn stressed out my staff because they didn't have a plan. Obviously I knew that Rachel would have to step in to some degree because she oversaw all the GM's but she didn't like .. tell me she had it covered which was stressing me out.
Then I had my last OB appointment on a Tuesday in Yankton - and something felt off, the OB had taken an ultra sound of the girls, was doing math on the calculator on there phone in the ultrasound room but didn't say anything to Mitchell and I...
We left and I wanted a second opinion - so we drove to Sanford that Thursday in Sioux Falls to make sure the girls were okay. The OB told me to go home - do nothing - and I was to come back on Monday. If my fluid levels in Baby A's (Isla's) placenta hadn't gotten better, I was having the girls on Monday. So I notified the office of that like hey this isa real possibility - lets come up with a game plan ... nothing. Rachel came down to my hotel that Friday but nothing got ironed out - or at least I didn't feel that way.
Then Monday came - I went to my appointment in Sioux Falls and I had the twins.
To preface this next little chunk, at some point in my time at the hotel, I had logged into my personal email on my work computer, and didn't log out. Which one, I shouldn't be on my personal email anyway and two, Lauren - you didn't log out. Come on. While on maternity leave I directed everyone who called me, to call Rachel and I checked the fuck out. I just had two babies! I wanted to soak up all the time I had while I was home. And I started getting really anxious and sad thinking about going back to the hotel. I know there were lots of professions that were worked to the bone during COVID and hospitality was definitely one of them, but I was more anxious about going back and continuing to ask for help and guidance and getting none, feeling unsupported by a supervisor, working literally 60ish hours a week and having newborn twins. Mitchell and I talked about it and decided I should start looking for something else because it didn't look like there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me at the hotel.
After I returned from maternity leave - I found out that Rachel, had been going through my personal email the entire time I was gone.
Prior to my return - this is where I will close for this week - I sent Rachel an email. Asking to take two additional weeks UNPAID of maternity leave - for a total of 10 weeks.
She forwarded my request up the chain - I have been digging for the screenshot I saved of this email - because this should have been my reason to just not go back at all and end my hospitality career, honestly.
But her boss responded to the request stating something along the lines of:
"if Lauren would like to be a stay at home mom, she just needs to let us know. She needs to determine where her priorities lie. She will be expected to return to work on the originally planned start date."
essentially stating - if I didn't come back there would be no job. I had TWO babies, and had taken 8 weeks. I did not feel out of line asking for an additional 2, and was literally planning to not get paid.
Things SPIRALED after this ... but that's for next week.
Xoxo,
Lo
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